Who Plans the Bridal Shower?
Traditionally, the bride’s family was not supposed to host the shower because it made it appear like they were demanding gifts. But this etiquette rule has changed in recent years, and the bridal shower can now be hosted by the bride’s mother, her sister, her maid of honor, one of her bridesmaids or any other close friend or family member. A group of the bride’s friends can also work together to plan and host the event.
Shop Trending Categories
Wedding Invitation
Graduation Announcements
Canvas Prints
Who to Invite to the Bridal Shower?
Only guests who are invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower. Try to keep the guest list short—the shower should be a much smaller affair than the wedding, with just the bride’s close friends in attendance. It is acceptable to throw the bride multiple showers, especially for brides with friends and family spread out over many locations, but try to invite guests to just one shower each. If there are a few guests who end up getting invited to multiple showers, remind them that they only have to bring a gift to the first shower they attend.
When to Host the Bridal Shower
The bridal shower should take place between two weeks to two months before the wedding. Before you set a date, confer with the bride and the bridal party to ensure that the date will work for everyone involved.
Bridal shower invitations should go out six to eight weeks before the event. Include common details like date and location, but make sure to mention the wedding registry as well. You should have one person in the bridal party receive all of the RSVP cards—this will help you keep everything organized.
Bridal Shower Responsibilities for the Hostess
As the hostess, you’ll have a number of bridal shower responsibilities both before and during the event. In the weeks leading up to the shower, you should create a menu for the party, and you should also put together a list of games and activities if you’re opting to play any. In addition, you can decide on a theme and gather decorations for the shower.
When the shower begins, it is nice to have someone greeting guests at the door. You could do the greeting, or you can assign this job to one of the other bridesmaids. During the shower, mingle with the guests, and make sure everyone is enjoying themselves.
When the bride is opening her presents, it’s a good idea to sit next to her and take note of everything she receives and who gave her each gift. This way, she’ll be able to easily send thank you cards after the shower.
Bridal Shower Etiquette for Brides
As the bride, it’s against proper etiquette for you to throw your own shower. Let your friends or family members take charge of the day. Focus on your wedding, and only offer your input on the shower if you’re asked.
While you’re at the shower, be sure to mingle with all of your guests, and try to spend equal time with everyone there. You don’t want anyone to think that they’ve been forgotten. When the shower is winding down, you should make sure to thank everyone for coming.
After the shower, send thank you cards right away. If you wait too long, the shower thank you cards may be forgotten as you begin focusing more on your wedding. Your thank you cards should be handwritten, and they should mention each guest’s gift by name. You should also get a small thank you gift for your hostess, and along with the gift, include a thank you card.
Co-Ed Shower Etiquette
Co-ed wedding showers are becoming increasingly popular. If you decide to throw one of these showers, be sure that the theme and decor speak to the couple’s common interests. For example, if the couple loves to travel, you could use antique suitcases or maps in your décor. The co-ed shower should always be designed with both the bride and groom in mind.
When it comes to hosting a co-ed shower, both the bridesmaids and the groomsmen should get involved. These two groups should work together to create a shower that the couple will love. If this large number of people becomes too unwieldy, one member of the bridal party and one groomsman can host together.
A wedding shower is a fun way to congratulate a bride and groom on their big day. These wedding shower etiquette rules will help you plan and execute a memorable bridal or co-ed shower.
Additional Resources:
Shop Shutterfly’s Wedding Shop
Learn About Wedding Elopement
Learn More About Wedding Planning
FAQs
The proper etiquette for a shower (bridal, baby etc) is that it must be hosted by someone who is not a close relative of the person being honored. This is to avoid the impression of a money grab by the family. The host for a bridal shower ideally is a maid or matron of honor who is not the bride's relative.
Is it proper etiquette for the mother of the bride to host a bridal shower? ›
Traditionally, the mother of the bride doesn't host the bridal shower (the maid of honor typically assumes the chief shower-planning role), however, your daughter will likely want you to be a part of the celebration.
What should a bride say at her bridal shower? ›
What should a bride include in her speech? In your bridal shower speech, talk about your journey leading up to the wedding, share special memories with the attendees, and express your love for your partner. You can also mention how your friends and family have supported you during this time.
What is etiquette for who to invite to bridal shower? ›
Friends from the couple's close social circle, friends from childhood or college, etc will likely attend. You don't have to invite plus ones, co-workers or acquaintances of your parents, or friends of your future spouse unless you're close to them.
What does a hostess do at a bridal shower? ›
At a bridal shower, the hostess typically takes on even more responsibility, such as planning and executing games and activities, collecting gifts, and helping the bride open her gifts at the end of the shower.
What is the mother of the bride responsible for? ›
A key mother of the bride task on the day of the wedding is to host the reception with the other parents. Take the time to chat to guests, thank them for coming, ensure everything is happening as it should be and just generally make sure the day is running smoothly.
Does the mother of the bride give a gift to the bride? ›
Yes, it's traditional for the parents of the bride to give her a gift on her wedding day, such as jewelry, money, or something sentimental. This is a way for parents to show their love and wish her well as she starts her new life.
Does the mother of the bride give her daughter a gift? ›
Young brides usually have the wedding/reception paid for by their parents, so traditionally that was the gift. Mothers can choose to give their daughter a gift, but it certainly isn't expected. Back in the day, it was common for brides to wear pearls on the wedding day.
Does the host of a bridal shower give a gift? ›
It is customary for the hostess to get the bride a gift for the shower, just like everyone else. You may want to coordinate the buying of a major gift, or you might want to give her something small but very nice just from you if the shower is setting you back financially.
What mother in law should write in bridal shower card? ›
Welcoming into the Family
Write about the joy of having her join the clan, and how you are looking forward to creating wonderful memories together. Example: "Dearest [daughter-in-law's name], we're beyond thrilled to welcome you into our crazy, loving family. Let's create memories that last a lifetime!"
Katelyn Peterson of Wedding Words, a wedding vow and speech writing service, advises sharing two to three "short and concise" stories about your son that spotlights their personality. Talk about your son's partner. Be sure to highlight your son's new spouse, and express what you appreciate about them, Peterson says.
Do you say congratulations for a bridal shower? ›
Your well-wishes for her bridal shower are a great opportunity to share your joy and excitement for her and her almost-spouse. Feel free to recount happy memories, offer congratulations and give marriage advice.
Should bride open gifts at shower? ›
The decision ultimately is yours. It could be a very special moment and nostalgic and it's totally fine to do it! But if it makes you uncomfortable and you'd rather spend the time doing another interactive activity with guests or mingling – that's fine too! Looking for an elegant venue to host your bridal shower?
How many guests usually attend a bridal shower? ›
Inviting between 30 and 40 people to the bridal shower is the sweet spot, with the understanding that some people probably won't be able to attend. Your actual guest count will depend on where you're hosting the party.
Who should not be invited to bridal shower? ›
The short answer is, you should not invite anyone to your shower who will not be invited to the wedding. Your shower is an intimate gathering of some of the closest women (and men if you choose) in your life, and if anyone makes the cut for your shower, they should also be close enough to you to get a wedding invite.
Who typically throws a bridal shower for the bride? ›
Today, it's common for the maid of honor or matron of honor — sometimes in conjunction with the mother of the bride — to plan the shower. However, the bridesmaids, wedding party, and the bride's family can all pitch in if necessary. Another modern trend is to make bridal showers gender inclusive.
Does the groom's family host a bridal shower? ›
The Mother of the Groom Can Co-Host the Bridal Shower
Tombs says this event is generally hosted by the mother of the bride or the bride's closest friends. If the mother of the groom is very close with the bride, then she may feel as though it's her duty to pitch in, too.
What does the mother of the groom give at the bridal shower? ›
One popular category is kitchen and home items. These gifts are practical and something that the bride can use in her new home. Whether it's cookware, beautiful linens, or home decor, she will appreciate a great gift like these and put them to good use.
Does the guy go to the bridal shower? ›
It's totally up to you and your fiancé to decide whether he will attend the bridal shower. Modern etiquette suggests that he show up toward the end of the shower to say hello and help stock up the car full of gifts. Some men even drop in for a few fun games.
