Pre Wedding Parties
Written By Colleen McCarthy
When you’re planning a co-ed or couples wedding shower, you might find that there are a lot of different names for it. Usually, a bridal shower is the traditional kind, with women only, held in honor of the bride. A wedding shower is when all sexes are included, and the party is held in honor of the couple.
Bridal showers and wedding showers are hosted events that include food, beverages, and games or activities. A Jack and Jill party is in honor of the couple, but the guests will pay for their own expenses.
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What is a Jack and Jill Party?
A Jack and Jill party is basically a fundraiser for the wedding. Sometimes, it’s called a Stag and Doe or a Wedding Social, depending on where you live. Jack and Jill parties are super popular in some communities, while others have never even heard of it. It’s most common in Canada and some areas of the US.
Here’s how it works: you rent a room, arrange food and drinks, entertainment, and door prizes. Then you sell tickets to everyone you know, including co-workers and distant relatives. A Jack and Jill isn’t like a shower - you can invite people who aren’t invited to the wedding.
The main purpose of the party is to raise money for the wedding. If you live in an area where it’s popular, it’s a great way to earn cash and have a fun party. If you live in a place where no one’s ever heard of it - I’m sorry to say the T-word, but it will be considered tacky. Ask around, and if no one in your social circle knows what a Jack and Jill is, you should probably skip it.
Personally, I live in Canada, and I absolutely love Jack and Jill’s or Stag and Doe’s. It does cost the partygoers money, but it’s a fun night of drinking, dancing, and meeting new people. If you live in a community where people have Jack and Jill parties, you should definitely plan one. Here are a few tips to help you get started:6 Do’s and Don’ts For Hosting a Jack and Jill.
Is a Couple’s Shower the Same as a Bridal Shower?
A couple’s wedding shower is the same as a bridal shower, except it’s co-ed. Some people might call it a His and Hers shower or a Co-Ed shower. Either way, it’s a pre-wedding party in honor of the wedding couple, so both partners will be there, and you can invite men and women.
Who Hosts a Couple’s Wedding Shower?
Anyone close to the bride or groom can throw them a shower. A couples shower is usually hosted by the bridal party, friends of the couple, or a family member. Typically, the maid of honor and the best man will be in charge of the planning and organizing.
Where Should I Host a Co-Ed Wedding Shower?
The venue should be selected based on your budget, theme, and overall preferences. There’s no hard or fast rule about where to host a co-ed wedding shower, so feel free to choose anything your heart desires!
What’s important is sticking to your budget. You’ll need to supply the food, favors, drinks, and decorations, so account for and estimate the costs of these elements before booking a venue.
When selecting a venue, pick something that fits your budget, follows the season, such as a garden venue in the Spring, and can comfortably accommodate all your guests.
How Much Does a Couple’s Shower Cost?
A couple shower can cost as little or as much as you want. Before you decide on anything else, you should decide on your budget. No one is obligated to pay for a wedding shower, but if you decide to throw one, talk to everyone who might help host the party.
Whoever is hosting will pay all the costs, usually the maid of honor and the best man. If the entire bridal party is hosting, everyone can contribute to the costs. Sometimes, the families of the couple will offer to help pay, especially if there’s a big guest list.
The Couple’s Shower Hosts Pay for:
Venue or room rental
Food and beverages for the guests
Games and prizes
Planned activities
Decorations
Invitations
Favors
Couple’s Shower Ideas
Bridal showers are usually planned around a traditional timeline and activities. With a couples shower, there are not as many hard and fast rules. You can plan any type of shower that your guests will enjoy:
You can plan a traditional type of shower at home or a community center. Offer your guests brunch or lunch, then play games and give gifts to the couple.
You can plan the shower at a restaurant, too. This is more expensive than DIY, but it’s a lot easier to plan.
Some people would rather have a wedding shower that’s more of a party. You could plan a cocktail party, either at home or at a pub or club.
You could plan your shower around an activity, like wine tasting, beer tasting, or a cooking demonstration.
If your guests are more active, you could even plan a bowling night, a pool party, or a scavenger hunt for the wedding shower.
Couple’s Shower Themes For a Co-Ed Wedding Shower
Choosing a theme for your wedding shower will make it easier to choose the menu, decorations, and invitations. You can choose based on the bride and groom’s interests or the activities you’d like to include at the shower. When you’re choosing, the only rule is that it should not be the same as the wedding theme. You don’t want the shower to compete with or outdo the wedding venue, decor, or food.
Bubbles and Brews Shower Theme
Bubbles and Brews are perfect if you’re planning a brunch or lunchtime event. You can offer local beers, plus sparkling wine and a mimosa bar to stay on theme. Add a continental breakfast buffet or sandwiches, salads, and fruit. With some fun games and gifts for the bride and groom, you’ll have a perfect afternoon.
Love is Brewing Coffee Theme
Love is brewing with a coffee theme is great for a breakfast or brunch event. You can offer a coffee bar with toppings, breakfast or brunch food, plus mocha cakes or desserts to stay on theme. Then give your guests small coffee packets as their take home favor gifts.
Love is Brewing Beer Theme
Love is brewing with a beer theme would be perfect if you’re planning an afternoon or evening shower. If you’ve got a local brewery or pub, consider holding your event there. You could serve any menu, from a sit down meal to casual burgers and beer.
Stock the Bar Wedding Shower
A stock-the-bar party is great for a couple who like to drink and entertain. The idea is for your guests to bring bottles of liquor, garnishes, bar tools, and glassware as gifts. The gifts will help the couple set up their at-home bar. If the bride and groom have a wedding registry, they can add alcohol, glasses, and barware.
Fiesta With Tacos and Margaritas
A fiesta is always a fun party, especially when it’s co-ed. With fiesta decorations, it’s easy to make your party look stylish and pulled together. You can shop and get fiesta decor and invitations in every price range. And it’s the perfect opportunity to serve delicious tacos and margaritas.
Bonfire and S’Mores Party
If you’d like to have a night time party, bonfire and s’mores are fun for a backyard event. Check your local rules and regulations, then set up your bonfire area with lawn chairs, blankets and s’mores.
I Do BBQ Wedding Shower
I Do BBQ is perfect if you’re planning a casual, backyard wedding shower. If you’ve got a bigger budget, you can go all out on the menu and cook ribs, chicken or pork. If you want to spend less, a cookout’s always fun. Barbecue some burgers and sausages and set out a buffet of condiments and toppings for your guests.
The Perfect Pear Wedding Shower
For a simpler approach, try this “perfect pear” theme! These designs would suit well with outdoor and indoor events alike. Combine pear couple’s shower décor with a garden location to create an elegant garden theme. Use pear décor indoors at a local restaurant or hotel to inspire a fun and light atmosphere.
A pear theme would “pear” well with fruit-inspired dishes. Consider adding items like fruit tarts, fruit platters, smoothies, and fruity alcoholic drinks. A pear-themed couples shower would inspire guests to be happy and calm.
To see more barbecue ideas, read this next I Do BBQ: Invitations, Decorations and Favors
DIY Food Ideas For a Co-Ed Wedding Shower
The easiest way to plan your menu is by hiring a caterer. If catering costs are too high, you can semi-DIY your food. Find a local restaurant that offers party catering and order delivery. Or you can get sandwich trays, veggie trays, and fruit platters from a local deli or grocery store.
If you’re planning to DIY, choose a menu that can be set up buffet style - think of ideas like a baked potato bar, a sandwich bar, or a salad bar. If your party’s more casual or rustic, you could offer a burger bar or a taco bar.
Buffet Style Baked Potato Bar
A baked potato bar is an easy DIY to make for a crowd of people. You can make most of the items ahead, in bulk, then heat them up and set them out on the day of the party. If you’re serving lunch or dinner, make sure to have lots of hearty toppings, like chili, baked beans, or pulled pork. Then, add sour cream, cheese, and veggie toppings for your guests to help themselves.
Set Up a DIY Taco Bar
Taco bars are fun and delicious, especially if you’re planning a casual or fiesta-themed shower. You can make the taco fillings ahead of time. On the day of, set them out in crock pots to keep them warm. The toppings can all be set up buffet style, and your guests can build their own tacos.
For more on setting up a taco bar, including a shopping checklist and side dishes, read this next Taco Bar Menu: DIY Wedding Menu for a Taco Bar
Offer Your Guests a Burger Bar
A burger bar is ideal for an I Do BBQ or a backyard bonfire party. When you’re planning, you’ll need to make sure you’ve got enough equipment to feed everyone at the same time. If you’ve got a big guest list, try to borrow an extra barbecue or two to make sure you’ll be able to cook enough burgers for everyone. Set up the buns, toppings, and side dishes as a buffet for your guests to build their own plates.
Couple’s Shower Invitations
Couple’s Shower Games
Couple’s Shower Decorations
Planning Checklist for a Couple’s Wedding Shower
Set the budget. Start by deciding who will host and find out how much they’d like to spend. If the entire bridal party is hosting and contributing, make sure everyone’s on board with the costs.
Choose the date. Make sure the couple and any VIPs are available.
Decide on the guest list. Run it by the couple to make sure everyone on your list is invited to the wedding.
Choose a venue that suits the budget and the size of the guest list.
Decide on the menu. Choose a caterer, restaurant, delivery, or DIY.
Plan the games and activities.
Send out invitations.
Buy the decor, favors, games, and prizes.
Day of the shower: welcome your guests and have fun!
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Colleen McCarthy